Reader Question:
i have already been single for decades! I am prepared to have a relationship again, and that I’m not getting more youthful! I have satisfied a perfect guy. The two of us have-been widowed for longer than six years. We put my personal pictures away however my recollections.
I will be worried because he’s got their wife’s picture-hanging around hearth, in which he asked me to believe that it won’t be removed. I’m sure the guy liked the girl, and I would never ask him to deny it.
I really don’t feel comfortable. I do believe i am going to feel just like i am the next person. I don’t know how to experience it. Is it possible to get some guidance right here?
âAlondra H. (Montana)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
This actually is a sensitive concern and something that I get lots. I would like that reframe the concept of this picture. The woman above the hearth isn’t their lifestyle, breathing wife. The woman is symbolic of the loving attachment this man can develop.
He takes their obligations extremely honestly. This is an excellent thing! He may even be concerned about the thoughts of adult young ones whom might start to see the missing picture since their mama becoming changed.
Back when I was a development reporter, I did a profile on a retired Air energy colonel that has generated the leap to Web business owner. His girlfriend hosted the tv team at their house once I inquired if she could provide us with an on-camera “soundbyte” about his residence existence, she extremely gracefully declined by describing they were newlyweds there was another woman who had stood behind that guy for 28 many years before she died of cancer of the breast. This made the colonel provide their a huge hug and demand that she seem with him on camera.
My information to you personally: cannot look at his later part of the wife as a threat. See their as an ally. Eliminating an image wont eliminate their recollections, it might drive a wedge in a budding relationship with a commitment-oriented man.
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